January almost over. I've been unemployed for two months now. Doing chores and stuff. It has been my toughest month. I lost someone that is important and I have to accept a person that wanted to replace the one I lost. Which is impossible, right? :/ The thing is, Zikrul is the guy I had crush on. He has been my crush when I was in high school. And what will blow you away is that he approached to me after graduation. I was lost in love until my bestfriend ditch me because of my careless. I was so inlove.
Maybe it happened for a reason. Without Zikrul, I would have added many stupid guys on men-I-dated list. Without him too I would never felt happy sad angry thrilled and all the emotion you can think of. Losing my bestfriend, I lost all my emotions too. But Zikrul, he'd never leave me. Through all the arguments and ignorance towards each other, he somehow still there in the end.
Everytime he makes me sad, I got this hurt in the heart that gives sudden chill in the shoulders and elbows that makes my tears fell. Everytime he make me happy, I am the luckiest girl in the world. Everytime he makes me angry, I want to tie him on bed and leave him there for hours till he scream my name. Scary? I know. Haha. Everytime I'm with him, I lost track of time. I felt like I just met him yesterday but I know him well enough to live with him everyday. It's weird I know.
I still hoping for my bestfriend to come back. Zikrul is also hurt to know I long for another guy. Its just that I knew my bestfriend for four years. How can Zikrul beat that?
You're the one. Give me time.
P/S: I've been listening to ' Through the Trees ' by Low Shoulders. Trying to forget my bestfriend. I will keep listening to it until I can sing it out loud rather than listen and remember my memories with my bestie. I'm trying. For Zikrul sake. And for myself...
