I've never been excited about new year before. Yes for a kid, I used to comb my hair from noon till night to prepare for new year celebration with my family. Sitting beneath the trees at KLCC park. Taking pictures with mom and dad. But now, I wasn't that worried about my hair nor the pictures, I'm waiting for the fireworks of this new year celebration as I celebrated at The Curve with my siblings. I waited for the countdown while the craziness of the crowd never seem to find an end. As the countdown begins, the fireworks lightens, I embrace full courage to take a glimpse at the stars as I wanted to start over when 2014 comes.
Start a new life, new hope as 2013 had became my most bittersweet memory. Full of love and lesson learned. I want this year to be fresh start as I just got through a breakup and havent see the end of it yet. And so I wanted to forget the past and move on. This new year is a very good start for me :)
It hurts to know that the one you love tend to not loving you back. Although I left this unexplained breakup with such doubt and concern about not knowing whats going on in his head, but what I do know that waiting is just waste of time and his " don't care " attitude towards me tend to hurt my feelings day by day. So I decided to move on and I wish I'll succeed.
A part of that, I also tend to not falling inlove once more. The last breakup I felt is so much pain to bare and the uncertainty of love is so much for me to feel as I'm afraid the same pain may occur. I've learn my lesson. Although Eddie is a part of me now as he helps me with my breakup thing pretty well. He cures my wounds day by day as we get closer every passing minute. He has become my staple of life through out this period of time and I do hope it stays that way. No relationship will fall upon us as we agreed to be friends at this moment.
So many support I have to make my journey as a single lady gone smoothly. This 2014 is a fresh start for me. Focusing on studies and hoping to gain more friends. Forgetting the unwanted past and embrace more of the sweetness of it. Such as my best friends and families. I want to be near to them. I wish Afiq, my long lost best friend will be by my side tightly once more as he is always there to comfort me. " We are the same. You are negative and I am positive. We need each other " he said. I agreed more than I should to that :)
I know its gonna be hard. But I'll try to succeed. Like my sister said, " its new. Give it time ". A broken heart cant be healed by just sleeping or meditating. We must bare the pain and give them space to cure. I hope 2014 will be a good start for me to embrace maturity, and to appreciate more of the people who will never leave my side.
P/S : I've listened to ' It ends tonight ' by All American Reject all night long. To give me courage in letting you go. To not blaming myself for what happened. Instead, I think of my own heart as you don't care to do so, and so that song is for you, ex. It has ended.
