These past days and weeks and months, things become more stable. All I came to focus on is my family and friends, my studies and work. And last night I just joined a gym as a permanent member. All began to stabilize until I miss stepped myself. Well...
On the 18th of February which happens to be on Tuesday, I had no class throughout that day because my Department is having a "Commerce Week" which all classes took part and do so many interesting and amazing activities. Without my class knowing, our Insurance Law lecturer arrange for us a hallway booth for us to present about laws of tort. At first we thought we have to present in class like normal students. But no. Each groups are given a small booth and brief about our topic to whoever's visiting.
Each groups must have atleast 4 members. Luckly for me and my bestfriend, we're given the opportunity to have two members only for one group. Well that's what we thought.
Lecturer announced to all students to vote for the best presentation based on how we present the topics given. But fuck them, they use the "bodek" technique which is grabbing their friends into their booth and force them to vote. Which is so unfair and through out the day I was frustrated that they all cheated.
At 1 o'clock I had to rush back home because my sis wants to use the car. And so I walk as fast as I can but I was disturbed by this guy who asked so many question. But that doesn't stop me from walking. But he did something so cute, I urge to look back at him. Ohh my, I fell for him instantly. I was shocked I could fall for a guy so fast. Before I reached to the car, I gave him my twitter username and we chatted.
And we exchanged phone numbers and it was a blast. I can't remember when is the last time I find myself so terribly excited by just one text. My bestfriend and my cousin warned me not to be so fragile but I didn't listen. I was too excited. But I was wrong. I should have listen.
The first time we met, he sat beside me while I was talking to my bestfriend at foodcourt who sit infront of me. Did he surprisely talk to me about million things? NO. Instead he talked with my bestfriend. Chatting and laughing and the funny part is that I was like invisible. It was so awkward I laughed. Not that he makes sweet jokes to her, but because it is so awkward, I want to run. But I stayed and we get along after that.
My family and cousin, they all said that he is not worth it. And my bestfriend is a bitch for giving him her phone number. YES! they exchanged phone numbers too. Dafuq?
Overall, it's nobodies fault but mine. Its my fault for the high expectation I crave from him and thinks about him, wait for his messages like a sick 14 year old kid. Thank god I have my closest friend who advise me not to be a moron. I decided to be honest with him and let him decide what's the next move. But thank you for the guy who gave me the 100 million dollar advice.
What he said was Im depending on the guy I like for my happiness. Which probably could be the source of my sadness. He was so right. I have to start loving myself and that's the only true happiness that can stay.
From now on, I'll just go with the flow. And I thank the guy for making me feel adored again. If he likes me, I'll appreciate it and never waste it. And I'll consider it as my second chance as my last relationship is such a bullshit. But if he doesn't, then I'll take this as a lesson to not fall for a guy too easily.
Who knows right? :)
