Just don't..

I've been dating since I was 9 years old. We use love letters to express our love everyday for 3 years. I still remember his name as he is my first love. His name is Yusry and he has curly hair, skinny body-type with dark skin and has the brightest smile that god could ever give to mankind. It's funny really because I was so committed in the relationship. 3 FREAKING YEARS !! AND I'M ONLY 9!!

But that is the longest loyalty I ever committed towards love. Maybe as the age passes by we start to realize how awesome being a little kid is.
Some people say I'm a player. Where I used to date more than 3 boys at once when I was just 12 years old. Or never be single for more than 2 month when I was 16 years old and below. People kept remembering their longest commitment in relationship while I only remember I used to be single for only 2 months and 2 hours is the shortest. It's not that I love playing tricks on you boys its just I'm still young and dumb. I don't even wear makeup on my face at that time and you want me to be mature and lady-like? Bitch please..

I keep welcoming them into my heart and run away whenever I just had enough without true explanation. And that shows how immature I am and it really reflect my age doesn't it? I just don't know what to say!
The popular reason I told them whenever I wanna break up is:
   My mom doesn't like you
   You deserve better
  
For the first month it's a dream come true. The first 3 months it's like "why I'm still here?". And then there goes my acting. If Hollywood notice how good I am, I'll be receiving awards every year.
Any guy I know, I find attractive, I date. Like Harry Styles once said when he was 20 years old:
     " I have few friends that are girls... and I date every one of them"

But guy's brain is 2 years younger than girl's that is same age as them. So I understand why he react to relationship. Because I so too. But despite all those shitty relationship, there'll be one that hits you like a truck and make you never say yes again. That truck hit me last year and look at me now! Single and doens't give a fuck :)

It makes you think deeper that reflects your deepest wound in your ruined heart. It makes you stronger every minute you try to accept the fact that he left you and be done with it.
After changing my way of dating, I don't date anymore. Boys are jerk! Men is hard to find. I entertain my heart and soul by listening to One Direction and be a true directioner. I'm 1D AF! hahahaha. I'll be lying if I say I don't date or like someone for the time being. Proof?? Right now I like my 42 year old boss and I think I need to back off a little. That's beyond disgusting and inapproriate.

My guy friends used to say its the way I flirt that make boys think I'm available. But that just the way I role. I'm just gentle, polite, funny, like to laugh kinda bitch. But as the time goes by, I start to control how I act to men. Don't want to send the wrong message now..
But there's also guys who's too dumb to realize. If I say no, they say maybe. If I say maybe, they say yes definitely! But thank god wise men created sarcasm. It has become my middle name.
My respond towards men tend to fade. Day by day my sarcastic takes control in my social life. And I love it :) (keeps the jerk away ^^)

But there's time where I ignore completely if they're too dumb to realize and see. As wise man anonymous once said, "stupid people CARE, strong people FORGIVE, intelligent people IGNORE".
So if you really too dumb to still want me, just don't


Thanks for reading :)

.

All types of days ~

" A day could change a lifetime "

A quote from an anonymous. I wonder what the hell happened to him for this quote to be so popular during his time. If I was him, I'll tell you what happened....

As I sat in the car, moaning and disturbing my lil sister next to me as the boredom attacks with this long drive to Cameron Highland. Suddenly my ears caught this beautiful melody on the radio. Its beauty really catches my attention. Not many songs can do that on the first run. It was a song from One Direction, called You and I. Don't laugh bitches. Its the song. THE song that caught me in their fandom. The Directioners. Yes I am a directioner. How? Well after the fattening days in Cameron Highland, I listened to most of their songs and became addicted to it. People kept saying I'm a directioner at that time but I'm ashamed to admit it. Because I'm the kind of girl who will never ever look at one direction. I'm the kind of girl who listens to Artic Monkeys, Linkin Park, Techno, Hans Zimmer, Phillip Phillips, those type of music. My choice in romantic song is I wanna Be Yours by Artic Monkeys.
         " If you like your coffee hot ~ Let me be your coffee pot ~ "
         " You call the shots babe, I just wanna be yours ~ "

sexy right? :D

But One Direction. Really? The Best Song Ever, Kiss You, Live While We're Young and those fun and seductive kind manage to get my attention. With no reason at all! I just like it for it!! It's not because of the sexy boys even though I'm mentally dating Harry Styles at the moment but its their song and their voice that elevates it to a whole new level. Its brilliant! It's so brilliant, I could not pick a favorite. Its hard to pick as their voice is like an angel. As a group!
Their songs are like a cuisine. A malay cuisine with rice and side dishes that includes fried chicken with sweet and sour gravy, top with fresh chopped veggies saute in oil,black pepper and all spice. Rice wont work without side dish. Chicken wont work without coated with breadcrumbs or mouth-watering gravy. That's how I picture them as a group. They need each other. If ever Harry Styles go solo and leave the band, I probably won't love his songs as fanatic as One Direction's.

Their song called Moment is the perfect way to explain what I'm mumbling about. Nevertheless, I always get excited for Louis's part in every song. Always add a kick to the dish ;)

And those are the days of my One Direction. It effects me throughout my life time with just listened to the radio on a long drive.
Moments. When it hits you it'll be there for the longest time. So as it crashes you. For those read my blog must know how my last breakup hurt me. It took me a year to forget how his love used to feel. Grateful for the presence of intense hatred, it helps me alot. And still are! I saw him twice after our breakup and I always get the chills whenever I see him around. The first time is at my class gathering for Hari Raya celebration. But he was far away but around. Whilst the second time he was at my face and it burnt my sorrow completely. I felt like slapping right across his face and be done with it. But thankfully I sat two seats beside him. Between us is my two guy friends who manage to block him out from my sight. 

I slowly accept his uninvited presence. But don't think I never want to slap him hard like Marshall slaps Barney. But I'm glad I got to glimpse his shitty little face. Yes a glimpse. I never look at him directly where there my hands would be with a lot of anger if he does. I just feel his presence and that's it. And Im glad. Glad to know I moved on and doesn't give a shit about him anymore. Thank you Lord :)

There were also the days where I want to spend every minutes of it soulfully which is my 5 days of vacation instead of 3 weeks. I have to start my internship earlier so here I am, blogging and bragging about my days in the office, opening two pages of Firefox so if there's a person walks by I quickly change between pages. 

It's boring here. I can feel how stupid I am, how empty my brain is. These guys minds expand like explosion, doing their work nonstop and thought only 5 minutes flies by but in reality its 4 hours gone. And here I am, waiting for lunch time to go to Subang Parade and luxuring myself for one hour.

And there's also the days where it doesn't change shit. Like how determine I am in being fit. I've been saying the same thing for the past 5 years and nothing has changed. Last night I saw how fat I am and did a little workout. Let see if it ever effect me again today shall we?

So there you go.. My beautiful shitty little days. Despite how shitty my days are, the beautiful ones saves me in million ways. One Direction has a new album coming up and their tour next year, whether I'm going or not I don't know. May Allah guide my path.
Truthfully, internship is fun as the colleagues are super friendly and love giving advises. Their experience reflect my future. And now I'm looking forward to see what'll happen after I dropped my phone on my way to work while riding my scooter down the highway as I watched it crushed by cars at my left side mirror today :)
I love my days..............



(didn't expect that..........)