Daddy,
I wish you could see me crawling to be independent. I'm not saying I hate living with you, or tired of saying "hai Daddy" till you look at me and smile widely. I know you hate being apart with your girls. Loosing Wani is hurt enough. I know. And I love you more and most than anything in this world. Me wanting to be far away from home is to feel living alone. Be responsible in everything. I want to feel hungry alone and suffer alone. I want to find my own way of pleasure and safe. Your money you'll give me next year, I wanna learn how to use it well. I know we mustn't waste our advantages here at home but daddy, I wont be at home forever. Please, let me learn how to live. I wish nothing but you praying for my safety and secure from Allah s.w.t.
Friends,
Your presence in my life, is a blessing. I love being around you, be apart of you. Im sorry I cant show you my all as I being so shy around you for the short period of time. I know I'd never wanted to show you my all inside. But im trying so please give me time. Afiq, you being around me to keep me safe is a grace from the angel's prayers. Your ways of talking, plant a flower on my face as it grows wider and wider and bigger everyday. You are the most precious man I ever met. Your love and secure is too valuable to be waste. Im sorry for the stupid past I'd make. Despite all the things that have been written in our diary of life, Im so grateful to be one of your best person that had ever popped out from your sight. Sharmine, I may not be the bestfriend ever, but I think of you everyday, miss you everyday. With your armies following you wherever you go, ofcourse jealousy haunts me inside, well, they are lucky. Hope for the best in you. I love you. And as for others that are close to me, Im sorry for the things I'd say that offended you. Please correct me if im wrong. Dont keep it inside. Because of you, Im a better person than before. Remember this guys and girls, my ears are open for you, my sympathy always accompanies you. Just be brave and fight the chaos in you. And let me inside your heart for me to heal the pain.
Eddie,
You really changed me. I found love in you. I know what love is by just being around you. I know the situation keeps us apart. We had our fights, moments of waiting and jealousy. But by those things, we'll always know that we loved each other. Im sorry for the things I'd done in the past. Leaving you is the stupidest thing I ever made. But because of your kind embracing you, you're willing to take me back. And for that Eddie, I will try not to hurt them again. 184 days left eddie. For us to combine as one physically, and live this world as we know it. As we planned it. Just please Im begging you Eddie, understand me, love me, and be patient towards me. I don't want to be hurt again. My love for you is just too strong to be broken.
And as for You,
You have your world arranging at your fingertips. Your dad gave you enough facilities for you to succeed. SPM is just around the corner. Dont be stupid. This is your last try Finaz, your last year to prove to everyone that you can do it. Its good you've change slowly. Its a record for you to answer math exam and cant finish it because of the time. Mostly you answered it 30 mins and the rest you fly to your nightmares.And punishments made by you? Good job. And the whiteboards you just bought and daddy paid, waste your marker on it girl.. What about books you've been reading? Since when you can read Sejarah more than 10 mins? Usually that's the cure of your sleepless moments. And your interest in holidays and facebooking, movies and video games now long gone? I'm surprised you replaced all that and filled it with praying and studying. Punishing yourself for the good terms. So don't stop worrying. Keep worrying till you faint. That'll keep you going, you spoiled brat!
( the most weirdest advise ever -.- )
But, yeah. I'm keeping my balance up ^-^
