Daddy, Friends, Eddie and you.

Daddy,
   I wish you could see me crawling to be independent. I'm not saying I hate living with you, or tired of saying "hai Daddy" till you look at me and smile widely. I know you hate being apart with your girls. Loosing Wani is hurt enough. I know. And I love you more and most than anything in this world. Me wanting to be far away from home is to feel living alone. Be responsible in everything. I want to feel hungry alone and suffer alone. I want to find my own way of pleasure and safe. Your money you'll give me next year, I wanna learn how to use it well. I know we mustn't waste our advantages here at home but daddy, I wont be at home forever. Please, let me learn how to live. I wish nothing but you praying for my safety and secure from Allah s.w.t.

Friends,
   Your presence in my life, is a blessing. I love being around you, be apart of you. Im sorry I cant show you my all as I being so shy around you for the short period of time. I know I'd never wanted to show you my all inside. But im trying so please give me time. Afiq, you being around me to keep me safe is a grace from the angel's prayers. Your ways of talking, plant a flower on my face as it grows wider and wider and bigger everyday. You are the most precious man I ever met. Your love and secure is too valuable to be waste. Im sorry for the stupid past I'd make. Despite all the things that have been written in our diary of life, Im so grateful to be one of your best person that had ever popped out from your sight. Sharmine, I may not be the bestfriend ever, but I think of you everyday, miss you everyday. With your armies following you wherever you go, ofcourse jealousy haunts me inside, well, they are lucky. Hope for the best in you. I love you. And as for others that are close to me, Im sorry for the things I'd say that offended you. Please correct me if im wrong. Dont keep it inside. Because of you, Im a better person than before.  Remember this guys and girls, my ears are open for you, my sympathy always accompanies you. Just be brave and fight the chaos in you. And let me inside your heart for me to heal the pain.

Eddie,
   You really changed me. I found love in you. I know what love is by just being around you. I know the situation keeps us apart. We had our fights, moments of waiting and jealousy. But by those things, we'll always know that we loved each other. Im sorry for the things I'd done in the past. Leaving you is the stupidest thing I ever made. But because of your kind embracing you, you're willing to take me back. And for that Eddie, I will try not to hurt them again. 184 days left eddie. For us to combine as one physically, and live this world as we know it. As we planned it.  Just please Im begging you Eddie, understand me, love me, and be patient towards me. I don't want to be hurt again. My love for you is just too strong to be broken.

And as for You,
    You have your world arranging at your fingertips. Your dad gave you enough facilities for you to succeed. SPM is just around the corner. Dont be stupid. This is your last try Finaz, your last year to prove to everyone that you can do it. Its good you've change slowly. Its a record for you to answer math exam and cant finish it because of the time. Mostly you answered it 30 mins and the rest you fly to your nightmares.And punishments made by you? Good job. And the whiteboards you just bought and daddy paid, waste your marker on it girl.. What about books you've been reading? Since when you can read Sejarah more than 10 mins? Usually that's the cure of your sleepless moments. And your interest in holidays and facebooking, movies and video games now long gone? I'm surprised you replaced all that and filled it with praying and studying. Punishing yourself for the good terms. So don't stop worrying. Keep worrying till you faint. That'll keep you going, you spoiled brat!
( the most weirdest advise ever -.- )


But, yeah. I'm keeping my balance up  ^-^

The Histories.

Means " Sejarah " in malay right? The subject hated by most of student here in Malaysia. Including me ;P Im a big fan of Hercules. And I understood it perfectly. That Hercules is a DemiGod. Son of Zues. The God of the sky. But is it true? Disney is a fairytale right? So i did some research about it. About Zues. And I found out that Hercules is the son of Zues. But Zues also had other childrens. One of them is Perseus. Familiar? Have you watched Percy Jackson? Thats a character of Perseus. So no. Perseus is not the son of Poseidon that has been written in Percy Jackson's movie. But Perseus did kill Medusa. Not because she has the stone of escaping from the Underworld, it is because Perseus was sent to kill Medusa by Athena's command. Athena is Zues's daughter. Athena did so because Medusa is pregnant by Poseidon. She asked Perseus's help to kill Medusa. And when Perseus chopped Medusa's head, she gave birth to Pegasus, Son of Poseidon. Well Pegasus didnt created by Zues for a gift to Hercules like in the Disney Hercules have described. But Pegasus did became a Rider Of Gods. Annabeth, daughter of Athena is only a character created by Rick Riordan in his book titled " Percy Jackson ". Perseus is married. Not to Annabeth. But to Andromeda. Perseus saved Andromeda from divine punishment from her mother's bragging. Her mother, Cassiopeia was beautiful yet arrogant for her beauty. She put Poseidon in high temperature when she said that she is more beautiful than the Nereids, the Nymph-daughters who often seen accompanying Poseidon. So Poseidon wanted to punish Cassiopeia. But then Cassiopeia used her daughter, Andromeda as a sacrifice for her survival. So Poseidon agreed and chained her to a rock at the sea and sent a monster to eat her alive. But came Perseus to save her and so, she became Perseus's wife.

Ahhhh!!!! I remembered it clearly!! Why can't I remember " Sejarah " in my school textbook like I remembered this history of ancient romans?? This story above is quite complicated. I read half of it. I ignored Hades's stories and Zues's wives and parents. and 20 minutes ago I watched " The Da Vinci Code " and now want to do research on Jesus Christ and Piory of Sion. I didnt because I know I have my SPM coming up and I'm reading about histories that is out of school chapters. And remembered it well !!!

There is so many things you can do in Internet. Not about Facebook or Twitter. Despite all that, you can find about things you could'nt even imagine to find out. Like Ancient Roman Gods, King Solomon's journey of life. I do some research about him because in my old tuition, my english teacher told a proverb " as wise as king Solomon ". How wise is he? In the power of internet, I knew that King Solomon is a prophet. He is also known as Nabi Sulaiman. I also know that he died without people knowing. And I read about Nabi Yusuf. And even about angler fish because my friend told me that angler fish suck up all organs in their mates to reproduce.

Internet is all about updating status or update your next gossips. Its all about knowing the world closer by one simple ' research ' ;)

Megara :)

recognise her? It's Meg from Disney Hercules :) 

I watched Hercules hundreds of time for the least few weeks. I love it because of Hercules's teacher. He is hilarious. Scenes that is funny never escape from my laugh. I laugh it everytime it comes by. But through that moment. Meg's solo captured my attention. Her song in the movie called " I won't say Im in love " really amazed me. It brought my spirit up. Im living an empty life now and with her song on my Galaxy that keeps repeating in my music player make me realize that Im not alone in this world that is living in a lie. What'd woke me up is that in the end of the story, she owns Hercules. She is trapped in Hades deal. Because she sold her soul to Hades to bring back her boyfriend's life. But her boyfriend ran away to another girl. With Hercules breaks her free. And with her being in silence about her love to him survived her from Hades's cruelty towards both of them, I know I must embrace patience in me and also silence. And with that, I may break free too :)

 Her courage and heart is so strong. She just go with the flow :) 

I hoped I would be brave as her. Eventhough she is only a fairytale character, she really brought me up :)