As the clock strike 12 I can feel my self stepping into the year of 2015 with pride and glory. Knowing I wasn't the same person I was before, I smiled endlessly, seeing the clock went pass 12.01 am. " I did it ".
Nobody knows me better than I do, truly I'm a mess. A beautiful clumsy messed up by this unforgiving lovable world. I pursue my life with unbearable broken hearted alone, with my mask on. I smile I wept, I laugh I scream. I live.
Despite the crazy ride in this roller coaster of life, I somehow find my path. With a help of a loving hand from my mother and sisters. I'm like a bird, learning how to fly. I never knew any person who find New Year is a big deal like I do. For it is my starting point to happiness and change. Without my girls I'll never make it this far. Their sympathy is beyond what I expected to receive. They're my angels sent from God. How lucky I am.
I became a mother's girl. Since my last breakup I thought I'll live my miserable life alone but as each day passes by I always caught my mom and sisters beside me, smiling. I love them more than joy could ever give as for it I share with them alone. Because they're all I had and still are. I love them so much.
Friend is no longer a priority. Their trust is just a glimpse of uncertainty and sorrow. So few had come and many went away. What's my flaws? I kept asking myself over and over again for they never revealed why. They just left. My so called 'friend' who is the same gender as I am would just left without explanation, the opposite, well they wanted more. This conspicuous truth led me to one place I find to be a solution, home. At home, I can be myself. My crazy self as my sisters would say. Home is where I love to be whenever I feel lost. Its warmth and silence, I wish it could last a lifetime. Truth to be told, it was never just home, it's the people live in it also. They're my home I just want to take them every where. Which explains why I only go out on a movie or lunch with them and only them. They're my home.
It's already February. People called it the month of love. My favorite channel, Food Network keep advertising the love month all day long. Chocolates and treats. Pink and red. Amusing yet disgusted. Love? Pfftt...
I'm done with love. But reality always play tricks on us yes? They got bored with us they ask fantasy to play its game for a while. I was on my way to the bank to withdraw my salary. Spending it on my mom's birthday as we're on our way to Time Square on that saturday morning, along with my elder sisters. As I walk towards the bank I saw Asya's crush at the next shop. Laugh with such cruelness, Wani said "I told you so". Later on, I went back to the car, looked at 'Wolverine' again, I saw him. I immediately screamed "Such a handsome man, he is!". It was Wolverine's brother. Quite charming.
But it doesn't stop there. Asya gave my number to him and we text all night long. He's hilarious! He's like a modern Romeo with a twist of humor. Instead we died in the end of the movie, he'll pull of an incredibly stupid move and I'll follow, we live happily ever after. Nobody dies. As days passes by, his humor continue to entertain me. He kept asking for my 'yes' but I'll always give him a 'maybe'. Because I'm not ready. I don't know. Should I?
